


Operation Home for Christmas

by Kitsune_Scribe



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pre-Avengers (2012), Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_Scribe/pseuds/Kitsune_Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was not how Clint expected to be spending his second Christmas at S.H.I.E.L.D. But anything has to better than last year, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Home for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rubygirl29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubygirl29/gifts).



> A thousand thanks to isisanubis on LJ for betaing this for me at the last minute. Any remaining mistakes are totally my fault. 
> 
> I also want to thank the administrators at the Clint/Coulson Exchange and Clint/Coulson Fic Finders who inspired us to create even more lovely fics to lose the Bookmarks to and misquote just enough that Google has no idea what we're talking about. :) Thank you in advance for finding these for us.

"Got an assignment for you Barton," Phil said as he entered the nearly empty squad room. Everyone who could, had already left to spend time with their families. But Clint was back on probation, and so not allowed outside S.H.I.E.L.D. without a handler, and it wasn't like he has anywhere to go back to anyway, so he was perched on top of the emergency weapons storage locker seemingly asleep.

~~~~~

Clint's head snapped up. He knew Phil was supposed to be heading home today. What could possibly have come up to make Phil miss the famous Coulson Holiday with the Family? Supposedly Sitwell got his first time leading a mission because Phil was already back at home and not even Director Fury was willing to face the wrath of Grandma Coulson (founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. took a back seat to the title of Matriarch of the Coulson Family during the last two weeks of the year) for anything less than the end of the world. And really after how heavily she had come down on Dr. Doom for trying to end the world, by tapping into the ancient power of Saturnalia and trapping all of S.H.I.E.L.D. in a time loop that lasted from the 21st all the way into January, Clint hadn't expected to be needed outside the New York Headquarters before Epiphany.

"Um, I'm not allowed solo missions at the moment, Sir." Clint winced at the look Phil gave him. Of course Agent Coulson knew his status. Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. had heard about his screw up during the Macy's day parade, why would he think Fury's One Good Eye wouldn't know that he was back on probation? Hell, Agent Coulson probably wrote up the paper work himself. It would have taken a master to sanitize the story enough to be fit for official paperwork. Clint's version sure as hell wasn't and he still didn't have a fucking clue how he and Agent Wilson managed to tangle the tow ropes on those balloons enough to make it look like Spider-Man was molesting Uncle Sam. At least the Daily Bugle had jumped on the Spider-Man angle and hadn't mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D.'s involvement, Clint figured that was the only reason he wasn't in Antarctica counting penguins.

"Did I say anything about solo work?" Phil asked snapping Clint out of his recollections. "We're going under cover on an op of utmost importance." He said tossing Clint a folder labeled Operation Home for Christmas. "I've got a go bag waiting for you in the car but I'll let you pick up your weapons. This is supposed to be an information only op but I'm fairly sure I can get you some range time, so make sure you bring you practice arrows. "

Clint opened the folder and skimmed the first page.”You're taking me home to meet your parents, Sir?" He asked staring at Phil in shock.

"If I have to listen to a whole week of my Mother questioning why I'm choosing my job over 'Finding someone to settle down with' or my sisters trying to fix me up with their friends I won't be held responsible."

"How's this year different, Sir?"

"My youngest sister had a baby in June, and that means they all want my life to be perfect too. Plus I haven't been back in eighteen months and apparently nagging isn't the same over the phone."

"You could just tell them you met someone."

"I tried that two years ago," he said grimacing, "they tore through the backstop I built for her in less than an hour, so this time I'm taking along proof."

'Sure,' Clint thought 'spend a week trying to convince the former head of S.H.I.E.L.D. and her family that you're in love with the hottest Agent to wear a badge without letting him realize you are in fact in love with him. No problem.'

"I guess I'll meet you in the garage in ten, Sir." He said as he flipped off the locker and headed for the main armory.

~~~~~

True to his word Phil had Clint's go bag sitting beside his own when Clint reached the subtly armored sedan they would be taking to the Coulson family home on the edge of Boston.

Clint blanched when he saw that the back seat of the car was filled with wrapped packages. "How many people am I supposed to be fooling?"

"Eleven," Phil said calmly, "though I hardly think you'll have to put much effort into fooling the baby."

Clint could count milling insurgents from half a mile away during a dust storm so he had no trouble noticing, "There's twice that many gifts here."

"Well half of them are from you." Phil said as he opened the driver's door and began the pre-trip checks that the S.H.I.E.L.D. manual called for but no one but Agent Coulson ever performed. "We've been dating for fifteen months and you didn't want to show up empty handed. Don't worry there's a list of what you got for whom in your briefing packet."

~~~~~

Clint felt out of sorts with the briefing packet. It was unsettling having nothing he needed to remember about his new persona, beyond a relationship that had supposedly lasted longer than every actual relationship Clint had ever had, and most of the mission parameters could have been culled from half a dozen Family Christmas Movies. Even knowing how serious the Coulson family was about Christmas he hadn't been expecting this.

Under _Cultural Expectations_ he found the rules for a card game called Bullshit "No poker?" He asked cutting a glance at his handler.

"Reading tells was deemed too easy, lying to spies poses more of a challenge."

"Right. And how upset is your mother going to be if I only know the dirty versions of most of the song on this list of Christmas Carols?"

Phil tapped a button on the steering wheel and the opening of O Little Town of Bethlehem floated out of the speakers. "My father's actually the one you'll upset, but it's a good idea to familiarize yourself with the traditional lyrics."

Four and a half hours flew by as Clint tried to learn all the details of an imaginary courtship while listening to carols Clint was beginning to suspect had been recorded by Phil's brother-in-law (Clark, 42, Choral Musician and the reason for the annual Christmas caroling, married to Sandra, 45 middle child went into legal instead of law enforcement and is slated for a position on the Bench early next year. Two children Margaret, 13, and James, 9.) And all too soon they were pulling up to a house encrusted with lights and covered in a picture perfect dusting of snow.


End file.
